Monday, January 19, 2009


For new years we went down a worm hole.

Phil Collins.

The dress, skin of sharks. At the party: splash !

Jago Knasty, tiger skin, wolf neck covering. Fierce looking pair we two.

Jiggo peer pressured me at some stage of the proceedings to ingest a pellet.Hallucinagens from some far away planet that I haven't been to before. It just made me on edge, The wormhole, nightmare-ish.

During the course of the evening I talked to an unintelligable dwarf, whose face was much wider than it was long. He was so drunk that his words just sounded like "Slosh, slosh, SLOSH! Slosh." and his ears stuck out from the sides of his head like handles. He attempted to sit down right on top of me at one stage, and when that didn't work and I leapt up to a standing position, he tried to look up my skirt, which being a dwarf I suppose may be somewhat his specialty.

I also talked to a giant with the hiccups, all he wanted to do was a silly dance, but I wanted to cure him of his hiccups, an action which I mistakenly presumed would make him less annoying to talk to. I did get him to stand still long enough at one stage to hold his breath and push it down to his toes, I was doing it aswell to encourage him, but after about three seconds he let all his breath out in a whoosh and remarked "This is vaguely sexual, isn't it." I said no but he thought I said yes.

Lastly I talked to a sad young clown, who claimed not to know anyone at the party. He was very morose and said that all the males there had been trying to engage him in bouts of fistycuffs all evening, and what had he done to deserve this sort of treatment? I knew from my spies and my own observation that it was actually the other way around and it was the sad clown who had self-appointed himself as self appointed policeman of the party, and it was he that was trying to physically and verbally fight with all the males. So I suggested to him, "Why don't you just go and have a dance, and forgeddaboudit?" Unfortunately he mistook this as sympathy and took hold of the sides of my head. His intention was to gain purchase on my lips using his own, an intention which I objected to quite vehemently, and I bent myself over backwards so as to get out of range. This occurence seemed to confirm the sad clown's suspicions that the whole world was against him. He expelled a little "oh!" and immediately ran off to stand in his policeman's corner again. Later I saw him telling all the other girls the same sorry tale that he had told me.

Side note.
*I used to hate INXS, slimy, snake like, sexed up Michael Hutchence, like whats his name from the Doors, the kind of man that is 'spiritual' and 'deep', but is really a depressed guy in too-tight leather pants.
Anyway, I found a new respect for them the other day when I actually listened to one of their songs:
'Just slide over here, and give me a moment, your moves are so raw, I've got to let you know, I've got to let you know. You're one of my kind' and there's humour there - intentionally or unintentionally - because most of the start of the song he's saying, 'hey baby, you're so sexy, I'm awesome too, let's get it on because you're good enough to get it on with me' and then at some point he goes kind of plaintively: 'I'm lonely'. And then it gets more and more often until he's not smooth sexy confident big man anymore, he's just screaming out really desperately 'I'm LONELY! I can't take it!' and I think that's pretty funny. Also the guitar's quite good.


Blogger Gorilla Bananas said...

Glad you're still sexy enough to make a dwarf horny. May the shark skin dress makes you fertile as well. Had I been the giant, I would have let you dance on the palm of my hand.

11:40 AM  
Blogger Face said...

'Glad you're STILL sexy enough to make a DWARF horny'? words fail me. Thank you GB

4:37 PM  

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