Monday, March 20, 2017

The Gentleman Rapist

I went out on the old town. It was the same but not at all the same. Imagine being in a time capsule for 8 years where all you have is a white office cube and computer with the internet. Mayhap you don't have to imagine. How skewed would your vision of the outside world become? How much would you expect to be walking around in goomaps, landmarks conveniently signposted on your very retina, convenient arrow showing you which way to go, convenient directions for how to live, convenient degradation of your memory and brain processes until you were a passive jellyman? Jellyman, jellyman which wobble of the world will leave you flattened, it takes less of a wobble each time as you lose your structural integrity.

So I went out into the community because it's good for you! I wasn't scared, this was my old town! A little darker and smaller but with less people and more of them you know by name, even. Although it could be accused of me that my un-scaredness was (that particular night) of the chemical variety.
The taxi car was strange and too full of men so we got out early.
Blithely walking down my childhood street an hour after midnight, I was still convinced of the kindness of strangers. Was I? Perhaps unconcerned. Actually I have a very suspicious disposition usually. Chemicals are bad for you.

Oh silence! Are you the most terrifying because of all the possibilities you contain?
I glance behind me and a spectre is there.
'Oh!' I think. 'A silent fellow! What a very odd fellow you are. What do you mean by floating so silently at my back?' Out loud I said nothing, but my face said 'Wha?'
The spectre continuously adjusted his features in the dark which was speckled with darker bits. You could still tell that he was ghostly pale and his movable face was struggling with some sort of inner questioning.

He sort of stretched himself upwards and began to sidle in my direction, hands on his trouser buttons.
I glanced at his movable face and it had a grim set to it. What was he struggling with? It may have been some time.
"No THANKS" I blurted out, as I turned to perambulate quickly away!
From behind me floated the voice, quite pleasant, not grim or gurgly but light and airy! His voice at least was not tormented, but that of a polite dinner guest who has offered one some wine.
"Are you sure?" He said
"YUP" I affirmed as I turned in at my gate.
He said no more.
I raced up the garden path, somehow the keys were in my hand without the usual fumbling around bag that it takes for location. I quickly slipped in the front door and closed it behind me breathing a sigh of relative safety though the adrenaline continued to stream through my veins. Then I stood in the dark staring out the front window for a while, immobile.
The friendly policeman on the phone took the details with a sympathetic tone, but said there had been no other reports in the area and I heard no more.

I am back to thinking everyone is great. Why not? Most people are. Even the spectre probably had it's good qualities. I go out all the time, but am more vigilant about what is going on behind me.

I have dispensed with late night solo perambulations, though. Should I be able to feel safe doing so? Probably. Will that change things? Likely not. I am a tough looking woman, but maybe it's time for me and all my female friends to go to the Women Fighters Gym down the road.
Could be it's high time
for pacifists.


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