Monday, July 03, 2006

Forecast

Yesterday I painted an entire city white so that drunk people can see it in the dark.
Its not much good in the day-time, though, completely disappears.

There is an awful lot of sun in the city for winter. Coupled with the flourescent lights that are everywhere, the effect is blinding.

The weather robot thinks otherwise, of course. Twisting her hands together, she apologises profusely for all the rain and wind.
"Its shit all round folks, shit all round." As the sun blazes through the window.

She thinks the bad weather is her fault.
"Tomorrow what we'll be giving you is a whole lot of snow and shit. There'll be a piss-stained blanket that we will spread over the sky tomorrow evening, but by Saturday we'll peel it back to reveal a whole bloody period of other problems. Sorry folks."
She breaks off a finger and rams it into her eye, sending a shower of metal and sparks over the sports news robot.

He shrieks and then begins to cry like David Beckham, 'boo-hoo-hoo, boo-hoo-hoo', until the fiesty Roomba gives him a good solid kick in the knee.

4 Comments:

Blogger Gorilla Bananas said...

That Roomba is a lounge-room armadillo. I've heard that a lot of human females like the rain.

12:15 AM  
Blogger Kieran said...

Fucking weather robots. They really get on my tits.

3:56 AM  
Blogger The Swearing Lady said...

Ah, excellent. It's great to read such an eloguent synopsis of the new episode of Deadwood.

PS: Everywhere I comment, I find that Keiran bloke on top of me. Do you think he's trying to tell me something?

4:46 AM  
Blogger SafeTinspector said...

The Weather Bot versus the Conductor! FIGHT!

8:06 PM  

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